A simple 3 step process to manage any problem:
Being alive means facing problems. When faced with a problem we may feel so blocked and hopeless that a way out seems impossible. However, the moment we take time to clarify the problem, and imagine our desired alternative situation—then, we can begin to create a plan to move from where we are to where we want to be.
It seems really simple, yet when you’re stuck in the mud of a problem it can seem so dark that we can’t see the way clear.
This is why taking the time to sit with the problem—to metaphorically sit within the mud of the problem situation we are in, we can allow the mud to settle enough so that we can allow ourselves to visualize what our preferred situation would be.
If you’re stuck in hopelessness, it means you’re stuck in the mud and don’t believe that the mud can settle down. The first ingredient is believing that it’s inevitable that the mud will settle down. You need to believe this first to be inspired enough to sit with the problem and allow the mud to settle in your mind.
A simple technique to do this is sitting in stillness, also known as grounding or meditation. Simply set a time for 5-20 minutes and be. Focus on your breath as much as you can. Focus on your breath to help clear your mind a little. Focus on your breath to metaphorically invite the mud to settle enough so that you can create some inner space in your mind.
Once you can move from hopeless to hope, you are able to visualize and clarify what you do want.It’s best to really sit here for a while, so that your whole body, mind, and emotions ignite with excitement so that you are inspired to take action.
The power of visualization is clarifying what you want and inviting your whole system (body, mind, soul) to get onboard with just enough excitement that you feel driven to take even one step forward to your desired outcome situation.
Then, make a plan. You might find yourself writing up a clear step by step plan to walk from where you are now to where you want to be, or it might be that you simply know the next step.
The next step is the most important, because with each step forward, the next step will appear.
If you find yourself stuck again, or in some new mud (problem) simply go through the 3-step problem-management process:
You might consider an action big or small, but the truth is we never really know which action will have the biggest impact on our life. Sometimes a very small choice can clear an entire problem, and other times what may feel like a big action step does not remove the entire problem.
Stay open-minded as you step forward, and recognize that every step matters.
The 3-system approach is rooted in research and a system that counsellors, coaches and advisors often walk people through.
Take some time to walk through it, and if you feel you need some guided support—as a certified life coach I can help you walk this journey.
Today I want to talk about what a lot of people face—how do you know if you’re making the RIGHT choice? When you have a decision to make, we can often get stuck because we are afraid of making the wrong choice and getting on the wrong road. And other times we think we know exactly where we want to go but then find out, it was the wrong road. What do you do when you find out that you are on the wrong road?
Well, over 10 years ago I was traveling in Costa Rica. I was absolutely sure about where I wanted to go, but I got on the wrong bus. Instead of getting on the bus that I was hoping would take me to the small beach town, I ended up on a bus going in the opposite direction to The Big City. This is what happens when you’re in a foreign land with very little Spanish on your tongue. Anyways, it was not that far into the ride that I got a bad feeling that I was on the wrong bus. So I asked the driver “Manuel Antonio?” and he replied “San Jose!”
Oh shizzle! I had to get off. I mumbled some words that he was able to understand enough to let me off the bus right there in the middle of the highway.
So there I was in the middle of the highway miles away from my destination and step by step I started walking my way back. Luckily, a taxi stopped for me, but I told him “ No tengo dinero,” I have no money! But he was so nice and drove me back anyways!
You know what I learned that day?
“You can’t fail unless you quit” ~ Russel Simmons
Have you ever not done something because you were afraid to fail?
A common block to even getting started on a project is the fear of failure. For some reason failure is a scary place to be because it means that all our hard work and energy was for nothing. It will prove to us our biggest fear: that hard work doesn’t always pay off. We would rather not find out that we might fail, just so that our mind can hold onto an imaginary idea that really we could win, but we are choosing not to.
But when you make your choices from a place of fear, you are being held hostage from your own mind. Yet, somehow this is easier than daring to push forward, and daring to step into the unknown where failure is possible.
Didn’t Edison fail a thousand times before he learned to create the light bulb? But you see Edison had it right. He never failed; he simply learned a thousand ways of how NOT to create a light bulb!
“I am teaching you to be selfish. Let me repeat it, because the word "selfishness" has been condemned so much that there is every possibility you will misunderstand me. But the word is really beautiful. To be selfish simply means to be yourself. I say to you: don't consider anybody else in the world, just consider yourself; and in that very consideration you will have considered the whole world.” ~Osho
Osho is a hilarious wise teacher who eloquently speaks of why we need to be selfish. The word itself feels “bad,” and filled with guilt. If you have ever been told “You’re selfish!” it probably was not a compliment. However, if you do not take time to take care of yourself and to be true to yourself, in essence you help nobody in an authentic way.
When you are trying to please everyone at the detriment of your own health and life satisfaction, sooner or later, you will hit a wall, and your physical, mental and emotional health and happiness will pay the price.
I re-discovered something super awesome today, and just had to share it. You see, I was cleaning up and found an old back up cd. I slid it into my computer to discover a bounty of old stories and reports, as far back as my University days when I studied Psychology. I started to get intrigued by one document called “awareness”. What? I was learning about awareness 12 years ago? I guess so! As I read through the 13 page report, there was one study that really fascinated me:
It was a study on intuition. If you’re thinking what—people study this? Yup, they sure do.
Well, in a study on intuition, they discovered, in a controlled scientific study that those who were able to shift into a positive state with ease were more intuitive.
Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great."
~ John D. Rockefeller
It takes a leap of faith to be willing to let go of a good situation in order to move towards a great one.
When things seem fine, but inside there is a knowing that “there is MORE than this,” that feeling, is the indication that you need to be brave enough to take the leap of faith to give up the good, in order to move into your greatness.
“As resistance works to keep us from becoming who we were born to be, equal and opposite powers are counterpoised against it. These are our allies and angels.”
~ Steven Pressfield
Have you met with resistance? It can show up in your business, your relationships, your diet, and exercise regime. It’s the excuses and environmental factors we use to explain why we couldn’t work to our fullest potential, and why we couldn’t engage in our yoga or running practice, and why we couldn’t be more present with our loved ones.
With January coming to a close, it's time to reflect on any resolutions you made 29 days ago. Have you been making strides in actively implementing your resolutions, or have you already decided to put your resolutions on hold?
Marianne Williamson states in her book, A Return To Love:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
This is often the fear that holds people back from growing and flourishing in their inner power. This quote is powerful and is the necessary spark to initiate lasting change.