A simple 3 step process to manage any problem:
Being alive means facing problems. When faced with a problem we may feel so blocked and hopeless that a way out seems impossible. However, the moment we take time to clarify the problem, and imagine our desired alternative situation—then, we can begin to create a plan to move from where we are to where we want to be.
It seems really simple, yet when you’re stuck in the mud of a problem it can seem so dark that we can’t see the way clear.
This is why taking the time to sit with the problem—to metaphorically sit within the mud of the problem situation we are in, we can allow the mud to settle enough so that we can allow ourselves to visualize what our preferred situation would be.
If you’re stuck in hopelessness, it means you’re stuck in the mud and don’t believe that the mud can settle down. The first ingredient is believing that it’s inevitable that the mud will settle down. You need to believe this first to be inspired enough to sit with the problem and allow the mud to settle in your mind.
A simple technique to do this is sitting in stillness, also known as grounding or meditation. Simply set a time for 5-20 minutes and be. Focus on your breath as much as you can. Focus on your breath to help clear your mind a little. Focus on your breath to metaphorically invite the mud to settle enough so that you can create some inner space in your mind.
Once you can move from hopeless to hope, you are able to visualize and clarify what you do want.It’s best to really sit here for a while, so that your whole body, mind, and emotions ignite with excitement so that you are inspired to take action.
The power of visualization is clarifying what you want and inviting your whole system (body, mind, soul) to get onboard with just enough excitement that you feel driven to take even one step forward to your desired outcome situation.
Then, make a plan. You might find yourself writing up a clear step by step plan to walk from where you are now to where you want to be, or it might be that you simply know the next step.
The next step is the most important, because with each step forward, the next step will appear.
If you find yourself stuck again, or in some new mud (problem) simply go through the 3-step problem-management process:
You might consider an action big or small, but the truth is we never really know which action will have the biggest impact on our life. Sometimes a very small choice can clear an entire problem, and other times what may feel like a big action step does not remove the entire problem.
Stay open-minded as you step forward, and recognize that every step matters.
The 3-system approach is rooted in research and a system that counsellors, coaches and advisors often walk people through.
Take some time to walk through it, and if you feel you need some guided support—as a certified life coach I can help you walk this journey.