 Hello!
It's been a really long time since I've written here. It would be too easy to say I got caught up in other things. The truth is I think I was navigating a sort-of burnout from creativity and I put my entrepreneurial projects on the back-burner. I've been having a desire to write, create, maybe re-start my old YouTube show (that only ever had a few episodes), but the thought would come and go. I wasn't acting on my creative impulses. I'd tell myself I'm tired or that I'd rather be outside, but really, it was like I had a creative shut-down. It's ironic though, because when clients tell me this, I will ask them if they want to create a plan to help structure their creativity. I know that sounds like an oxymoron. Structured Creativity - is there such a thing!? But as I write that, I think about the work of Steven Pressfield, a writer who inspired me over a decade ago when I was writing a book. He talks about how sometimes, when it comes to our creative projects, we may not be "in the mood" to get down to it. It's easy to fall for procrastination and simply feel like the spark of creativity isn't there. He then talks about how human this is—that this happens to every person. He then goes on to share that the magic happens when you just make yourself sit down and write. Or sit down and play the drums, or practice the dance, or try the new recipe, or however your creativity wants to express itself. And although I know about this philosophy, I was still in a creative-pause. But creativity is soul-expression, and giving the soul the space to be, play, and express is important soul-nourishment. As I started realizing how this inner-feeling was getting louder, I knew I could not longer wait for the perfect time, or to have the perfect article or new offering. I knew I just had to take the first step, which is write this post. If you've been on a creative-hiatus, and feel like something needs to get moving here are some prompts that might stir things up: If you like journalling, grab a journal, otherwise you can just set a timer for 5-20 minutes and let yourself be in thinking time :)
I believe our creativity is a joyful way for our spirit to play. It's a way to feel purposeful, aligned, and in-tune with our true nature. Creativity can show up in so many ways, so I believe it's important to expand how we think about "creativity." Here are a few more things I have to share: If you're looking for personal support, I offer individual coaching sessions. Learn more by clicking here If you'd like to gather a small group, or book a private yoga session, click here If you'd like to invite me to lead meditation sessions for your business/organization, click here, As the days get longer and warmer I wish you a great beginning of spring, joy, ease, and whatever-it-is you wish for :) Warmly, Tova Hello!
Happy (almost) New Year! The New Year is an opportunity to choose to reset. A time to realign with our heart, gut, and mind and focus our way forward. I believe it is first important to look back at 2023 and take some time to review what you’ve been through – whether it was things you struggled with, achieved, received, or new insights and ways of living that emerged for you. I recommend taking 10-15 minutes to jot down a few bullet points of some of the things that unfolded for you in 2023. For me, when I look back I realize I finally manifested my dream of getting my own dog. This was on my dream list for years. Back in 2017 I lived up in the arctic for a year, and the cost of living there is even higher than major cities like Vancouver or Toronto. So, I chose to live with a roommate to save money, and the reason I chose my roommate was they had a dog. I’ve always loved dogs but that first dog Jake that I lived with – a half retriever half Australian Shepeherd who I often took on walks even in -26 degrees weather solidified my desire for my own dog. But it wasn’t as simple as wanting a dog. I needed to have certain things in place – like a home that would let you have a dog! I returned to BC in 2018 and for years I could only find places to live that did NOT allow pets. Then, last year, I decided I wanted to move slightly south from where I was living on Vancouver Island, and my one stipulation was I would ONLY go through the hassle of moving if I found a place that would let me have a dog. I was pretty relentless in my search. It’s a tight market on Vancouver Island, and after a place fell through that I thought was mine, I felt into my disappointment and then kept my search going. I basically drove down to the new town every weekend searching for a place. Then, finally, I found one that allowed dogs and where I got the call that my application was approved. I signed the agreement and was set to move! I originally thought I would need some time to settle in to my new town and surroundings before getting my dream dog. I figured by Fall or Winter (it was a summer move) I’d be ready. Instead, within a few weeks of moving I found myself searching for dogs.I searched via multiple avenues and via multiple lanes of counsel. I looked at several rescue organizations, drove down to my local SPCA, went to visit some breeders nearby and looked at ads ok Kijiji. One ad struck me – a mistake litter. A rough collie escaped and met up with a lab, and the rest was history. I spoke with the owner and had a good feeling about her especially after meeting with several breeders nearby where my instinct just didn’t have a good feeling. My dream dog was a collie lab or collie retriever mix Although I was thinking more about Border Collies and Australian Shepherds, when I saw the Rough Collie lab mix there was one specific pup that really caught my eye. The owner said he was mine if I wanted it. This pup was all the way up North of Kamloops in a town called Barrier that I’d never heard of. A friend said to me that if I really wanted the dog he’d go pick it up for me, as driving that long distance felt outside of my capacity. I decided to say YES to the dog even though I did not have an opportunity to meet him first. Then deeper serendipity unfolded: Somebody I had dog-sat for before who I deeply respected because of how wonderful his dog was; I felt he has done an incredible job at training his dog. So I sent him a message asking for advice. He was generous in his counsel and then asked me, "When do you get your pup?" I replied, "Well, I am still trying to figure it out," and explained how the pup was up north of Kamloops. Then he told me that he was heading that way and offered to pick the pup up for me! The timing and offer was unreal. These are the magical moments I call total synchronicity/serendipity. These are the moments I am so grateful for that are the unexpected magic that help us in our manifestations. And then, on July 11th I got my puppy, who I named Magic :) He’s now just over 8 months and I have been in constant training as I trained him. I’ve taken classes, read books, watched YouTube videos and received counsel from experienced dog owners. Having my own puppy is so different than living or caring for another’s pup. The canine bond is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced (It’s amazing!). I’ve also been met with challenges I never knew I would have to figure out. However, with each challenge, I experiment with several techniques and have always figured it out. Essentially, it is all about building the relationship and learning to communicate with another being. ….Not all that different than figuring out our fellow humans – building a relationship and discovering their communication style 😉 …Ok, it might be a bit different with a dog, but not by much! That whole story was to share how sometimes our goals and wishes can take years to manifest, but if you are clear and focused on the goal, and if the goal is unwavering – it will manifest. And sometimes a dose of synchronicity will swoop in to help make things happen. Manifesting this dream was a combination of intention, action, and good fortune (synchronicity and magic) I've already learned so much - not just in dog training lessons but life lessons...Here's a quick five: 1. Energy matters. 2. Energy is powerful and can direct outcomes. 3. Relationships build with time and learning each others communication style (yes, even with a dog!) 4. Recognizing things are not personal (Especially with a dog, they are just being a dog, but in life, this is a great lesson too.) 5. Be in the moment, enjoy the simple things, and play!! So back to the start of this message, now is a chance to reflect on your life and the past year: Look back at your 2023:
By taking 10-15 minutes to write out and think through this, it will help clarify how you want to direct 2024. So much of life is uncertain and out of our control. However, we can still have focus and direction. We can have an aim, goal, direction, desire, and place our energetic manifestation and action in that direction. We may not know exactly how the outcome will unfold and it may not always come as fast as we want, but taking time to clarify what we want to focus on is powerful and creates the energy to shift things. I'm taking a bet if you look at your own life you will likely see you have already manifested so many things you've hoped for. So instead of a New Year's resolution, I vote for setting intentions, focus, and direction. What is your intention(s) for 2024? What do you want to see more of in your life? What do you want to see less of in your life? What would be a wish come true for 2024? Take 10-20 minutes to daydream and journal the above prompts and anything else coming up for you for your hopes for 2024. Then, take a bit more time to focus in on the things your really want to make happen by prioritizing them, and see if you can map a few steps forward. This is the path of turning a wish in your mind to form in your life. I wish you a wonderful 2024. Also – if you live or visit the Comox Valley, on Vancouver Island BC, Canada, I’m teaching a gentle yoga class on Fridays. Come check it out. If you want one on one support for private coaching to clarify and take action on your goals, intentions and dreams – book a session with me, and let’s move forward together 😊 Love Tova For many years I brushed New Years aside. The rebel in me didn’t want to succumb to an arbitrary date being my mandate to make a resolution. Then I changed my mind. The date may be arbitrary, but it holds meaning in our culture – even if that meaning is a new tax year ;) I now see a New Year on the calendar as an opportunity. It’s an opportunity to look back and look forward, while staying present on the ride. Let’s break this down – my hope is that after reading this article you will be inspired by all you DID accomplish in 2022, and look forward for what some of your hopes and dreams are for 2023. Here are 3 simple steps: 1.Look back to one year ago: What are the major things that happened in the first 3 months or so? Then look back at late last spring and early summer, and then the fall as you moved into winter. Write down some of the things that happened. It could be an external thing such as getting a raise, or having a baby, or being impacted by a death. Maybe it was an internal thing: working with your inner boundaries, new self-awareness, self-confidence of self-trust. Give yourself a few minutes to write out what comes to mind. Sometimes this exercise helps you see the progress you did make in your inner life and outer life, especially if you felt like not much happened over the last year. And, there is always a dose of luck/magic/grace to life, some of good things that come our way isn’t always from our own clear effort, lucky breaks do happen. I was once told that “You have to be good to get lucky.” 2.Look Forward. There are a few ways to do this. You might want to get out a piece of paper and divide it into 12 squares with the month written in each square and write down a few things you hope for each month. Or, you might journal about a few key dreams, intentions or goals you want to work towards. Some people like to use imagery and either draw, paint, or cut out photos of things that inspire them (also known as a vision board) And for some people, it might just be sitting on your bed, or the couch and giving yourself the grace and space of thinking-time. Let your mind wander as you think about what you’d like to see unfold over the coming year. You can’t do this wrong. Do what inspires you as you think through your intentions. You might leave it there. There is potency in the seed of intention. There is also strength in defining a plan. I recommend doing monthly check-ins to check in with yourself and reassess your goals and intentions and to give yourself the space to see if there is something you want to do differently. Remember, there is a time to do. Some call it work, grind or hustle. And there is a time to be. Some call it surrender, pausing, meditating, trusting. Both are important. We live in a culture that tends to honour the GO and dismisses the PAUSE, but the pause is just as important. It’s often in the pause that luck/magic/grace can enter. 3.Be Present. This takes us to the final step – whatever your goals are, take the time to be present. The practice of pausing and taking a few deep breaths to tune in to our body in this moment is one way to return to presence. There is also making the most of life right now while it is happening. Sometimes we need to stop striving and simply enjoy where we are. Presence is also part of the power of being, the space of grace, and what some might call magic or luck. I wish you a very happy new year :)
Thank you for coming to this page. I have 2 things to share:
1. A simple meditation how-to video and 2. If you keep scrolling I share 5 more tips on ways to actively destress and reduce overwhelm. One of these is meditation. As you scroll down below you'll also see I'm sharing direct access to the mini e-book called Learn to Meditate. I hope these tools and resources are helpful for you :)
If you're reading this you might be looking for ways to shed some stress from your life and find some tools to help release stress once it hits.
After all, stress is something we all experience to varying degrees, often on a daily basis. It could be a simple stressful moment when we can't find our keys and we're already 5 minutes late to leave. It could be the stress of an unexpected flat tire, an insurmountable number of projects at work with an inbox that keeps overflowing. It could be the stress that inevitably comes with relationships or other's expectations of us. Whatever is causing stress in our environment, the moment that we can become aware of it is the moment we can begin to shift our state. This is important so that our stress doesn't get so out of balance that it leads to a panic attack or a full on shut down. Learning to respond to stress is important if we want to live happier, more productive and sane lives! We cannot turn off the chaos around us. We can make some choices about how to create an environment that supports our wellness. Even then, external circumstances will test us, and specifically our nervous system. Stress is a broad term that has a wide range of meanings for different people. What is stressful for me can be a breeze for somebody else, and what's a walk in the park for me can wreck havoc for somebody else. This is why it is important to take some time for self-reflection to determine for ourselves—what are the indicators that let you know you're stressed? For too many people, the first signs of stress can get bypassed as we keep plunging forward at a go-go pace. Often we won't recognize stress until our nervous system has already peaked past it's healthy threshold and we may find ourselves acting out of character, experiencing physical symptoms such as a stomachache or headache or neck pain or where we find ourselves in a state of total collapse, also known as shut down. In a way this is our nervous system protecting us. However it can really take a toll on our mental wellness and wellbeing. Here are 5 simple tools to help you destress: 1. Start to become aware of the first signs of stress. For the next 3 days start a journal, or, if it's simpler use a note-function in your phone where you note down the signals and situations that cause you stress. Begin to pay attention to the signals that you're feeling stress. Hint: stress will usually show up in the body as a physiological response. Therefore, start paying attention to your body. It might be noticing when your shoulders are hunches, your forehead scrunched or your breathing being held. It might be a headache, or even a sense of wanting to hide or feeling like you'll collapse. The moment you start to notice the signs that stress has emerged write it down. In time you will notice the signs even faster. 2. Begin to take 5-10 deep breaths. You might begin a new habit by adding breathing into your morning routine. It might be a note you place on your computer to remind you to breathe (Especially in a moment where your head is beginning to spin and you're feeling overwhelmed). Although a simple tool it can be difficult to practice. I recommend that you do something that will help you remember to breathe. Whether it's placing a note on your wall, or setting an alarm on your phone. Whenever we begin a new habit, we often need supports around us to keep on track until the new habit becomes automated. (Duhigg 2012) 3. Get a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left, write out your priorities. On the right, write out how you're spending your time. You might want to keep this as an active-list where you chart it for a few days. You might notice that other people's urgencies are taking over your time, causing your priorities to take a backseat. You might find yourself procrastinating and doing other things. Since everything in life has a payoff, and if you find you are procrastinating or allowing urgencies to overtake your priorities, take some time to self-reflect and ask yourself why. See if there is a payoff in where your time goes (often unconscious until we self-reflect and become conscious). If we can become aware of what is taking our time and energy, and we recognize that some of these things are creating overwhelm, we can make choices to do less of the things that are not actually helping us move our priorities forward and shift our focus towards completing our priorities. Often unconscious self-sabotage can be riding shotgun and stopping our best intentions. In the process we can become overwhelmed and stressed out. 4. Get outside and get moving. Getting outside and in nature, or as close to nature as possible has healing benefits. Exercise is a simple way to release stress hormones and increase feel-good neurochemicals. Therefore, if you can exercise outside - whether a walk, run, hike, paddle, bike ride or anything else - it's healthy and supportive of your whole system and once of the best ways to shake off the stress. 5. Begin or continue to meditate. Meditation has so many proven benefits. However, all science aside - it's only through your direct experience that you can determine for yourself the benefits of integrating a meditation practice into your life. Whether you begin with 5 minutes, or have a longer practice of 15-20 minutes, setting an intention to make this a daily habit will have immense benefits which include focus, an ability to calm, increased awareness that spills into daily life, enhanced productivity (a byproduct of focus and calm) increased creativity and more. I've written more about this and share 4 step-by-step meditations in this e-book which I am sharing with you free. Click here to download it. Bonus Tip: A Dose of Humour and Laughter. Whether you watch a standup comedy video (or in real life!), some other comedy, or simply find humour in the simple things in everyday life - laughter truly is strong medicine for the spirit and a great way to relive stress :) Once again, here's the link to the meditation video: youtu.be/EZczwzlF8Jo Remember there are many ways to meditate. Whether in silence, or listening to a guided meditation - by taking the time out of your day to be present with yourself and to stop doing, and start being - our life begins to shift. Our awareness increases, helping us be more conscious, alive, and awake so that we are better equipped to notice stress when it first starts, and quickly ground ourselves and do something to actively shake off the stress and release the cortisol (stress hormones) before our whole system goes out of balance. I hope this was helpful and will love to hear your insights in the comments. References: Duhigg, Charles, author. (2014). The power of habit : why we do what we do in life and business. New York :Random House Trade Paperbacks, https://mydoctor.kaiserpermanente.org/mas/news/regular-exercise-benefits-both-mind-and-body-a-psychiatrist-explains-1903986 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4061837/ https://www.apa.org/topics/exercise-fitness/stress Happy February! I hope this month has started off well. For many of us we are still right in the depths of winter, and it's still not that far from the start of a new year - a time we often set new goals and think about what we want to create in the year ahead.
Having a goal is part of the process. Sometimes even taking time to clarify what goal we want can take some inner reflection. Once we clarify our goal, the next step is to commit to it so that we have the drive to create. Conscious commitment is a powerful force and can drive us when times get tough. As we walk off the edge of the start of 2022, but still in the freshness of the start of a new year my questions to you, if you are so inspired for some inner reflection & creation are: 1. What are you inspired to bring into your life? 2. What is something you are willing to commit to? 3. What will your commitment look like? (These are the boundaries around commitment, for example committing to a yoga practice for a minimum of two times a week for the next 8 weeks is an example of a clear commitment 4. What do you hope to create? (Creation can be building a desk, writing an article, starting a side business, or building a state of mind and wellness - not all creation is in physical form, some is a state of mind. Using the yoga example - the commitment might be with the goal to create space for inner relaxation and inner connection) This is the simple version of the power of Commit & Create. Commit & Create is also the name of the new program I am launching: It's a personalized 4-week coaching series where one week at a time we go from clarity, to commitment, to creation to maintenance plan. To Learn More—CLICK HERE To learn more about this program - either click here, or you can reply to this message - we can either book a quick discovery call if you have some questions and want to make sure this is the right fit, or if you're familiar with my work, we can simply launch right into Commit & Create! And for those of you not looking for personalized support - carving out the time to reflect, clarify, commit and create - are, I hope powerful core ideas that will help launch your dream for this month (or year) into reality :) “Nature abhors a vacuum” ~Aristotle What’s the relationship between decluttering and manifesting abundance? Well, Aristotle’s quote sums it up. Just as nature abhors a vacuum, so does our life. However, if our lives are filled with clutter there is no space for something new to enter.
This is why as we declutter and create space – physically, mentally and emotionally, we give space for the new to manifest. Everything comes from space – and although throwing things away can feel scary – sometimes we are attached to things we don’t even like or use, yet think “Well one day I may need this” — It actually blocks new things from entering. Here are 5 simple ways to declutter today: 1. Declutter your closet There might be one item, there might be a carload of items, but if there are items in your closet that you don’t love, or use – it is time to let it go. If this feels difficult – you can place a boundary around it and tell yourself you will let go of 5 items. Every item makes a difference. Not only will this free up space physically, it frees up space energetically and you are helping somebody else out in the process. Whether you give these items to a friend, a shelter, or other organization – there are other people who can really benefit from the items you no longer love or use. 2. Declutter you finances Have you putting off organizing or looking at your finances? Whether it’s reviewing your accounts, paying bills, getting taxes in order or if you’re a business owner taking some time to review you last quarter or make new financial goals – taking the time to consciously organize your finances is important. Not only will you feel better, energetically as you clean up, organize, and set goals, it helps your subconscious mind expand into greater financial possibilities and opportunities. Schedule 1-2 hours to clean up, throw away, organize your paperwork, and pay off your bills. Whether you are able to pay it all off, or even a small amount – every bit helps. 3. Declutter your electronics/time with technology This can mean deleting old files taking up space on your computer, your inbox, or apps on your phone. This can also mean taking a conscious digital detox. It might be a digital detox from a specific platform or scheduling a full day or week where you step away from technology and allow your mind the space and freedom to calm down, quiet down and expand. When our mind has space we are able to hear our intuition, and in that we are able to access new insights and creative idea. 4. Declutter your relationships There might be someone specific who every time you hang around them you feel worse than before you interacted with them. This is also known as a toxic relationship. Sometimes, this calls for releasing the relationship completely, or minimizing contact. Whether decluttering means consciously letting go of people in your life that feel heavy or simply being more mindful with the amount of time and energy you give to individuals who weigh you down – decluttering your relationship space is vital to your mental and emotional wellness. In this – you will free up energy for new relationships to flow in and have more joy and abundance in your life. 5. Declutter your pantry Decluttering your pantry can mean several things. It might mean looking through for expired items and tossing what’s past due. It might also mean looking through the items you don’t eat and can give away to a food bank. It can also mean consciously cleaning up what you eat. You don’t need to go on a radical cleanse to detoxify and declutter your body. You can choose to delete refined high-sugar foods and add in more nutrient-dense foods. You can do a pantry clean and make more conscious decisions of choosing more whole foods the next time you are at the grocery store. For a simple basic guide on core nutrition basics – check out my first paperback- I wrote this back in 2013 – but these evergreen principles still hold true today. Click here to get your copy. Whether you choose one area of your life to declutter or 5 or more – every little thing adds up. Declutter one thing today, one thing tomorrow, and feel for yourself the spaciousness and clarity that comes with it. It’s in the space and clarity that we are able to be energized and take conscious action to manifesting the goals we truly desire. If you’re looking for personal support to declutter your life and manifest your goals – schedule a personalized coaching session with me—click here A simple 3 step process to manage any problem:
Being alive means facing problems. When faced with a problem we may feel so blocked and hopeless that a way out seems impossible. However, the moment we take time to clarify the problem, and imagine our desired alternative situation—then, we can begin to create a plan to move from where we are to where we want to be. It seems really simple, yet when you’re stuck in the mud of a problem it can seem so dark that we can’t see the way clear. This is why taking the time to sit with the problem—to metaphorically sit within the mud of the problem situation we are in, we can allow the mud to settle enough so that we can allow ourselves to visualize what our preferred situation would be. If you’re stuck in hopelessness, it means you’re stuck in the mud and don’t believe that the mud can settle down. The first ingredient is believing that it’s inevitable that the mud will settle down. You need to believe this first to be inspired enough to sit with the problem and allow the mud to settle in your mind. A simple technique to do this is sitting in stillness, also known as grounding or meditation. Simply set a time for 5-20 minutes and be. Focus on your breath as much as you can. Focus on your breath to help clear your mind a little. Focus on your breath to metaphorically invite the mud to settle enough so that you can create some inner space in your mind. Once you can move from hopeless to hope, you are able to visualize and clarify what you do want.It’s best to really sit here for a while, so that your whole body, mind, and emotions ignite with excitement so that you are inspired to take action. The power of visualization is clarifying what you want and inviting your whole system (body, mind, soul) to get onboard with just enough excitement that you feel driven to take even one step forward to your desired outcome situation. Then, make a plan. You might find yourself writing up a clear step by step plan to walk from where you are now to where you want to be, or it might be that you simply know the next step. The next step is the most important, because with each step forward, the next step will appear. In Summary: If you find yourself stuck again, or in some new mud (problem) simply go through the 3-step problem-management process:
You might consider an action big or small, but the truth is we never really know which action will have the biggest impact on our life. Sometimes a very small choice can clear an entire problem, and other times what may feel like a big action step does not remove the entire problem. Stay open-minded as you step forward, and recognize that every step matters. The 3-system approach is rooted in research and a system that counsellors, coaches and advisors often walk people through. Take some time to walk through it, and if you feel you need some guided support—as a certified life coach I can help you walk this journey. Manifest the Way Forward—A step by step guide to deliberate creation:
Manifestation is just a word that means having a conscious and deliberate intention to actualizing a goal, vision, and life you desire. In order to get to where you want to go you need to: 1. Know where you are 2. Know where you want to go It sounds so simple but sometimes our lives get so busy that we don’t pause long enough to take inventory and assess: · How are we feeling? · How are we doing? · Where are we right now? Taking the time to pause, feel, assess and ground into where we are is necessary to take an intentional step forward. Only once we get quiet enough to hear and feel can we heal and clear what may be holding us back. Take the time to pause in order to become aware of what’s in our way, and recognize the steps we need to take to move forward. Wherever you are is your personal step to navigating the way forward, even if the path forward is uncertain with major circumstances outside your control. Step one is take a time out and deliberately sit with yourself and the questions above. It’s like a meditation—or a meeting with yourself. I recommend setting a timer for about 15 minutes and just letting yourself sit with these questions. You can just sit and be present with what comes up, and if that feels difficult you can journal out the thoughts and feelings as a way to clear the mental space. Then, write out in a few sentences where you are at in the areas of your life that feel most significant to you right now. That might be your health, your finances, your relationships, your career direction, or something else. It may be one thing or a few things, give yourself time to assess and feel where you are and sit with it and be with your now reality. Then you can pivot to your desired reality: Take an area of your life and once again, you can set a timer for 15 minutes and reflect and journal or simply sit with what you would like to see happen in your life. For example, if you are unsatisfied in your current work situation, start to write out what would be an ideal work situation, perhaps even write out a dream job description. Start to create a clear vision of what your desire looks like. Then, take a few breaths to help clear your mental space. Mark Divine—former Navy Seal, founder of Seal Fit, and all around inspiring human talks about “box breathing” as a way to strengthen the muscle of mental control. Our minds are powerful and our minds are a pivotal step in the manifestation process. The process is simple: 1. Take 4 counts to inhale 2. Hold your breath for 4 3. Exhale for 4 4. Hold for four And Repeat. Take about 10 breaths this way and notice how you feel. Often this kind of breath work helps to stabilize the nervous system and in as little as 4 breaths your entire state can shift from scattered to calm. Then from a calmer space you can either maintain this breath or simply shift to your natural breath and meditate. ‘Meditate’ simple means being present with your now experience and if your breath is your anchor of focus it simply means being with your breath and noticing where your mind jumps to. Meditation is simply exercise for your mind. It’s not about “being successful by having an empty mind” Rather the success of meditation is simply in the act of choosing to immerse in it. The mere fact that you set time aside to intentionally be with your breath as you notice the wanderings of your mind and emotions is the benefit and success of meditation. It is the way to help clear and settle the mind so that you can act from a clear and intentional place which is way more powerful than operating from a muddled busy state. A friend recently shared with me the analogy that meditation is like allowing the mud to settle so that the water is clear and this is exactly what happens when we sit to meditate. At first there’s often a lot of mud shaking around. Yet as you sit and be still the mud can settle down to the roots and your mind clears as still water. It is in this state of stillness that we can see clearly and be inspired to our next move. Then comes the next step: Visualization: Take 5 or 10 minutes to visualize an aspect of your life that you were working on in one of the previous steps and visualize what you desire. This alone raises your vibration—it raises your energy and your joy. When this happens, there is a mix of life’s magic and our own inner inspiration to know the next step to take. Once we take the time to visualize we can start to see the next steps forward and this is where mini goal come into play. Some of our dreams are huge and require several major steps to set the foundation forward. Other goals are smaller but can still be broken down to small daily steps to turn our desire into reality. Yes, there will always be uncertainty along the way—if 2020 has taught us something this is one major lesson for sure. And despite the truth of life’s uncertainty we are still powerful manifesters of our life. A quick 4-step recap: 1. Breathe to settle the mind 2. Meditate to clear the mind 3. Visualize your desire 4. Take simple small daily steps to your desire—sometimes the first step is writing up the next four steps you think you need to take and start with the first one. As we walk our way forward, remember to keep going for your dreams—life is full of uncertainty and often this includes the most incredible things too. There may be a lot we do not have control on, but our minds are powerful and strong manifesting tools. We can deliberately change our mind, which shifts our emotions, which strengthens our vitality, our energy and joy and gives us the power to take concrete steps forward to living a happier more vital life. Want support to manifest your dreams? Contact me for personal life coaching Jayne sat across from me telling me clearly her side of the story “I’m tired of working at the bank. It’s not just that my boss is aggressive and most of my coworkers pretty catty. Frankly, I could handle that if I loved the job, but I simply don’t.” She then trails off her sentence with “I don’t know….”
Can you relate? —Speaking so clearly, just to be followed by confusion and self-doubt... You may have seen this in yourself, friends, family, colleagues or clients. Speaking with certainty, and then confusion comes in—solidified with the words “I don’t know” As if maybe you have it all wrong. As if everything you think, know, and feel might be off. But deep down it’s not off. You are certain yet fear plugs in with the words “I don’t know.” If you’ve ever caught yourself doing this you’re likely taking a breath of acknowledgement. or wincing in the truth of what you may be scared to admit to yourself. Because our certainty can scare us. Our certainty demands for change. I mean it would be ludicrous to go against certainty. Yet we do it all the time because at the core—we’re afraid to trust ourselves. As explained by Karla McLaren, Author of The Language of Emotions: Confusion acts as the mask of fear, where fear is our intuition speaking to us. Trusting our intuition—our inner sense of certainty, is scary. Especially when other people, money, and sense of security are at stake. I mean we can’t take out a measuring stick and measure our inner certainty—it’s no wonder confusion is a frequent visitor. When confusion comes to visit—it’s a sure sign your intuition is being masked. Essentially confusion asks that we shut out the noise and go deep inside – deep into stillness and hear our inner voice. It might scare you, but you’ll be clear. It’s scary to do this because when we are honest with ourselves and if we don’t make the change being asked of ourselves—it means we are betraying ourselves. It’s easier to stay in a defective situation and simply blame everyone else around us. Going back to Jayne’s story, she could have blamed her lack of happiness on her boss and colleagues, and it would have made perfect sense. But she knew deep down what the real issue was. When you know the real issue then you’re faced with the hefty task of self-responsibility and conscious choice. Self-responsibility is a choice, and, it’s the only empowering choice there is. The alternative is blame, and that’s a pretty toxic place to be. So how do you get from self-doubt and confusion to owning your clarity and then taking responsibility to make a choice that will turn your life around? Here’s a 5-step game plan to move through the process:
The action stage may take awhile, and may require going through the process again of acknowledging what you know and what steps you need to take to keep moving forward. Awareness, self responsibility, daring to look at what needs to change and acknowledging what actions you can take is a huge step. It is the most important process in living a more empowered life – where you operate from your power instead of feeling like a victim. It’s true that life can be unfair. There are times when we are a victim to something horrendous, and there is a time to allow the victim to have its space to mourn the losses, the situation, and fully feel the pain of being a victim. Then, there comes a point where you will recognize it’s time. It’s time to either make a change or stay a victim. It’s time to own your life and pick yourself up and make the changes you can make, or stay where you are. My hope is we all come to that point and choose to make the empowered choice which is rooted in the concept of self-responsibility, owning our truth, and taking courageous action. Sometimes we can do this on our own, and sometimes we need the support of a friend, family member, or professional Coach or Counsellor. Sometimes we need a team of people to support us in moving forward. Invest in yourself by giving yourself what you need to live the way you know you can be living. For personal support from Tova – a Certified Life Skills Counsellor and Certified Life Coach--Click here to contact me Have you ever felt ready for change but wasn’t sure exactly what change you needed to make? Chances are there was something you wanted to start letting go of. In my last article on How to Manifest What You Want, I was ready for a change from the city to a quieter environment and I took the first step. What unfolds after the first step is a mystery when you choose to flow with your joy, gut, and the opportunities that present themselves along the way.I continued my journey into a small island community. I was still looking for “the place” and started to look at rentals in various communities. One caught my eye and was an excuse to travel a few hours away to a more southern part of Vancouver Island. I walked away unimpressed and asking myself What am I really looking for? I reminded myself why I left the city in the first place and a part of it was to find a more nature-filled small community and another was to learn more about horses and the budding field of equine facilitated wellness and equine therapy. So I kept knocking on doors to see what would happen. I found a position that seemed like a dream. I spent hours completely remodeling my resume just to find out the job was just given away. To say I was bummed was an understatement. I said to one of my friends “Why couldn’t I have a lucky break just this once, why can’t things work out? I was totally drowning in the victim mindset.Now let me say – there is a time to give the victim the space he/she needs to receive acknowledgement and compassion. The victim is not a “bad” state it is simply a state. And it’s not a place you want to get stuck in if you want to move on with your life and keep walking to your dreams and highest joy. So I went back to fixing up my resume and thinking about other jobs and within hours this ranch writes back that the person she just hired bailed on her and can I call her. What? This was divine intervention at its finest. Was I finally going to get the job of my dreams?It was all looking pretty amazing. There were a few red flags I chose to brush aside thinking I can deal with that, but as I kept thinking about the magnitude of work I started to wonder if this was humanly possible for one person. My doubts were creeping in louder by the minute. I kept delaying and not giving her an answer. This gave her more time to think and look at other candidates. When I went back to her with a host of detailed questions she started to say “You know I’ve had time to think about it and actually normally a couple comes because the work is quite physically demanding” After all there were 16 horses, ponies and cows to look after. I felt my whole body sigh in relief. I didn’t try to fight her or even quip up “I can do that” Because deep down as much as the place looked like an ideal fit on many levels my body was telling me that the haste by which I was needed and the reality of the work was not in alignment with the calm pace of life I wanted. Yet I was still intrigued by the place. A little more chatting and I found out there was an opportunity to volunteer. This now appeared like the dream scenario. An opportunity to be with horses, learn about horses, and see where this volunteer opportunity could go in the future. I’d be in an environment that was focused on spiritual healing with horses, it all seemed too good to be true and I was elated. During all of this I was also working towards conquering a major fear: Finally learning to drive ! I invested time and money in lessons, reading and watching YouTube videos on every driving technique. I was studying as if I was in school. I passed the road test, searched for a vehicle found one that seemed perfect and I was off to the ranch. The ranch had been the dream. I mean one of the major reasons I was finally motivated to get my license was so that I could get out to areas that you can’t get to by public transportation. To keep a long story short, and to keep the message clear, my experience taught me two lessons: 1. What we think is a loss is not a loss. Initially when I first saw the posting and that the position was already filled I was bummed. Although the turn of events shifted, I found myself filled with gratitude that I did not initially and hastily say yes to the job once it did become available to me. Always trust your soul and your instinct. Sometimes doubt is your friend. I witnessed two experienced people burning the candle at both ends and still in need of extra help. The job was not cut out for one. I learned – what might feel like a “Why can’t I be lucky” is actually “I am so lucky”2. If you have to convince yourself about something – it’s a sign it’s not something you truly want. I found myself searching for a reason to stay. My thinking mind would keep saying “one month is a short time” and my thinking mind would try to convince me why I should stay. My soul knowing knew that the energy of the place was not in alignment with me and I was not going to have the opportunity to learn any more than I had in the time I had already been there. I could have stayed longer, I kept trying to find reasons to stay. And I knew if I stayed it would be fine, but my soul knew that leaving would bring me more joy. It was one of those moments where there was no wrong choice. But there was a very clear soul choice.Was I going to go with my soul and honour my heart, gut and joy, or was I going to follow the conditioned part of the thinking mind that wants to caution about making the most of things. My soul would always come back and whisper “You’ve already made the most of things” I knew I would wake up the next day and leave. Despite the mixed feelings in my mind, my soul knew it was time to continue on my way. I was embarking again upon what felt like a scary highway drive. I was up in the mountains and making my way south on one of the highways often deemed “the most dangerous” I was met with periods of heavy rain. I stayed focused and used my breathing to stay present even when visibility was really bad on a 120km/hour highway with high elevation and windy roads. All of a sudden my car makes a really bad noise. I pray to god in impatience- Please make that go away! The noise wasn’t going anywhere. It was getting worse. I was freaked out but I’m on the middle of a raging highway – what choice do I have? I hoped to make it to the next town and get it checked out. The noise gets worse and the car starts to feel different. My body begins to freak out. Then a big Semi honks at me, and I knew this was his way of saying there was a Major Problem. Somehow I get myself off to the side of this raging highway on a small stretch off the start of exit 231 between Merritt and Hope. I think in these moments our animal instinct or angels kick in, because I don’t remember how I managed to pull off at what was really a perfect spot. I see my car smoking. I get out of the car and call 911. I don’t know what to do and I am freaked out and in disbelief. Maybe this is what shock is. The dispatcher is kind, does a wonderful job in deescalating my state of anxiety and informs me that firetrucks can’t get out there. Luckily the smoking was not getting worse and lucky there was no fire (though any longer and it could have been!) As the dispatcher hears me tell her that it’s not getting worse and I ask her if I should call the Automobile Association for roadside assistance she said yes. I find myself in total gratitude that last minute before I left I bought a membership. I’m told I’ve been bumped to priority due to the severity of where I am located but that it will still be about an hour. So I’m stranded on the edge of this raging highway still feeling a bit freaked out if my car is going to blow. Within 15 minutes a tow truck comes – could it be that BCAA is early? No. It’s not BCAA, it’s a guardian angel. An elder man full of tattoos, long hair, and a long beard stopped just to see if I was ok. When I told him BCAA was on the way he still offered to look at my car and checked the engine and said “This is not good, but it’s good you have help on the way”. Then he started saying nothing short of the soul messages I needed to hear “You know, you never know what you avoided by not being on that highway now. Everything is for a reason. This might seem bad but it could have been something worse up ahead”. Then he says, “You know it might be frustrating to have this happen and all the money you’ll have to spend that wasn’t in your plans, but you have your health – that’s what’s important” He then asks me my name and tells me he’s Pat. Pat was my first guardian angel that day. When the tow truck guy came he was just as kind. He looked under the vehicle an said “This is bad. This is catastrophic engine failure” It was well over an hour in the tow truck making our way to Hope to the mechanic shop. James the tow truck driver acted as my therapist for the first part of the ride as I shared my frazzled state and asked a bunch of questions about cars and what happened. He told me what happened to my vehicle was inevitable and that this highway – the Coquihalla along with Crowsnest highway are the 2 highways where if there is anything wrong with your vehicle you’ll find out on these highways as they are really tough. The rest of the ride was great entertainment as he told me about a documentary series he was part of called Highway Through Hell based on the highway I was on. Despite the outward shock of it all and being in a situation that was something inconceivable to me, and led me to be stuck in a hotel in the town of Hope for a few days, I found myself simultaneously in a state of deep gratitude and acceptance that was surprising me. In the past I would have gone down the victim rabbit hole of “Why me” and this time not a cell in my being wondered that. My soul had a knowing that this simply is. Years ago Caroline Myss had an incredible Ted Talk where she talks about how people always want to know “Why me?” and she says what if an angel said “Just because” What if there is no reason, what if things just happen. What if all the spiritual lessons are found within how we show up when life unfolds especially during the unexpected and challenging.The true spiritual experience is in how we take the experience in – do we take it as an opportunity to feel like life is shit or unfair or do we witness the miracles and grace? Although hefty mechanic bills and hotel bills and being stranded wasn’t on my dream list of adventures, the truth is, the kindness from strangers and spiritual messengers who came to me through the people I met – from the tow truck driver to the woman at the grocery store to the woman at the health food store (all stories for future articles) filled me with more joy, alignment, and spirit than my time at the spirit retreat center. This experience reminded me that illusion is real, and sometimes the most spiritual soulful heart fulfilling experiences happen in the places that would appear to be the least spiritual, and sometimes places that label themselves as spiritual are a total illusion doused in toxicity. What I’ve learned on this segment of the journey is: · Our spiritual teachers don’t always look and dress the way we may expect them to · Our angels may not be who or where we’d expect to find them · Sometimes where we think we’ll find healing we find pain, which ultimately will bring us back to healing, so all in all there are no wrong paths. Life is always unfolding, the greatest things happen when we live in flow and follow our knowing and our soul If you’re on your journey and struggling to find the meaning and insight of it all – personal coaching and Ecotherapy can help. Click here to find out more about working with me personally. |
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