Can meditation help us manifest?

I believe the answer is an unequivocal YES! 

I also understand that sometimes meditation can feel hard...I know from firsthand experience...
 
It was 2007 when I started my commitment to meditation. I figured I could handle five minutes. And those five minutes changed my life. As the years went on, and my enthusiasm for meditation grew, I often would write about meditation, shared workshops about it and guide others on how to create a simple meditation practice.
 
After years of committing to five minutes a day, my alarm went from five to fifteen minutes. And then, one day, I just couldn’t do it. Well, it wasn’t just one day, it was multiple days of feeling like I needed something else. So, I started to listen to guided meditations for the first time, and this was really helpful for a while. I even went to a meditation retreat, and I loved sitting for long periods (like an hour or so). Then, back on my own, I ebbed and flowed. I remained committed to setting my alarm everyday but something was feeling different, maybe you could say more difficult.
 
There would be some days where I needed to set my alarm for 20-30 minutes to figure out things that were bugging me, and that was immensely helpful and clarifying. But the daily 5-15 minutes was proving a challenge. And then I remembered why it was so important to maintain the short meditations, and it was just the nudge I needed to get back in the flow.
 
I was re-reading Ask and It Is Given, a book about manifestation, and one of their practices is meditation: to use the power of meditation to help clear resistance and open up to receiving that which we want to manifest.
 
I needed that nudge to remember that even if I felt I was slogging a bit, even if my mind was taking over a bit, this time of deliberate and conscious practice was still akin to sweeping away the debris on the ground. Sure, some debris might get swooped up into the air and come back to the ground, but I could just go on sweeping, and in that act, a lot of the dirt was getting into the dustpan, and then at the end, the rest of my day, or whatever predicament I was in, became clearer.
 
I share all of this for multiple reasons:
1.To normalize that meditation isn’t always easy, even if you’ve been practicing for over a decade. Whether you are brand new, trying to start, re-starting, or been pretty consistent for a long time, it is normal to go through ebbs and flows. Just like anything in life, sometimes we need to get re-inspired.
2.Meditation is a great way to welcome clarity. It is like a cleaning method. I think this is one of the best metaphors because for many it is easy to visualize, and imagine how sweeping the floor or cleaning a window – can take some time, and there may still be some smears on the window or dust on the floor, but overall, the surface is much cleaner and clearer. And just like cleaning it requires consistent maintenance. And, no doubt about it, the end result is refreshing and feels so much better.
3.Meditation is a pretty simple way to help speed up the manifestation process. I’ll give another example: Have you ever worked really hard at something, struggled, then, finally took a weekend or a few days away, and suddenly you have your answer or it seems like some miracle and breakthrough came through? I’d dare say it is because you released resistance. In other words, some would call this the art of dipping into surrender, and in that, there was space for life to come towards you and meet you with that which you seek. Sometimes letting go is the best way to make things happen.
 
There are many ways to meditate. Whether you set a timer and just sit and observe your mind and breath, and be with your experience, or whether you listen to a guided meditation, or countless of other methods, and sometimes trying a few different methods is the best way to find what will click for you now. Whichever method you use, I am pretty convinced it is one of the best gifts we can give to ourselves which then extends to how we are with others – more harmony, understanding, and expansiveness.
 

Hello!
It's been a really long time since I've written here. It would be too easy to say I got caught up in other things. The truth is I think I was navigating a sort-of burnout from creativity and I put my entrepreneurial projects on the back-burner. 

I've been having a desire to write, create, maybe re-start my old YouTube show (that only ever had a few episodes), but the thought would come and go. I wasn't acting on my creative impulses.

I'd tell myself I'm tired or that I'd rather be outside, but really, it was like I had a creative shut-down.

It's ironic though, because when clients tell me this, I will ask them if they want to create a plan to help structure their creativity. I know that sounds like an oxymoron. Structured Creativity - is there such a thing!?

But as I write that, I think about the work of Steven Pressfield, a writer who inspired me over a decade ago when I was writing a book. He talks about how sometimes, when it comes to our creative projects, we may not be "in the mood" to get down to it. It's easy to fall for procrastination and simply feel like the spark of creativity isn't there. He then talks about how human this is—that this happens to every person. He then goes on to share that the magic happens when you just make yourself sit down and write. Or sit down and play the drums, or practice the dance, or try the new recipe, or however your creativity wants to express itself.

And although I know about this philosophy, I was still in a creative-pause. But creativity is soul-expression, and giving the soul the space to be, play, and express is important soul-nourishment.

As I started realizing how this inner-feeling was getting louder, I knew I could not longer wait for the perfect time, or to have the perfect article or new offering. I knew I just had to take the first step, which is write this post.

If you've been on a creative-hiatus, and feel like something needs to get moving here are some prompts that might stir things up:

If you like journalling, grab a journal, otherwise you can just set a timer for 5-20 minutes and let yourself be in thinking time :)

• What would a creative first-step look like for you?
• Where do you find yourself coming alive/feeling joyful and free?
• How do you wish you could express yourself?
• Is there some art-form calling you (art can be anything really, from painting, to writing to cooking to playing a sport - it's about the inner-feeling of creating that makes it art)
• If you're feeling creatively blocked right now, what do you feel is in the way?

I believe our creativity is a joyful way for our spirit to play. It's a way to feel purposeful, aligned, and in-tune with our true nature. Creativity can show up in so many ways, so I believe it's important to expand how we think about "creativity."


Here are a few more things I have to share:
If you're looking for personal support, I offer individual coaching sessions. Learn more by clicking here
If you'd like to gather a small group, or book a private yoga session, click here
If you'd like to invite me to lead meditation sessions for your business/organization, click here, 

As the days get longer and warmer I wish you a great beginning of spring, joy, ease, and whatever-it-is you wish for :)

Warmly,
Tova 

Hello!
 
Happy (almost) New Year! 
 
The New Year is an opportunity to choose to reset. A time to realign with our heart, gut, and mind and focus our way forward.
 
I believe it is first important to look back at 2023 and take some time to review what you’ve been through – whether it was things you struggled with, achieved, received, or new insights and ways of living that emerged for you.
 
I recommend taking 10-15 minutes to jot down a few bullet points of some of the things that unfolded for you in 2023.
 
For me, when I look back I realize I finally manifested my dream of getting my own dog. This was on my dream list for years. Back in 2017 I lived up in the arctic for a year, and the cost of living there is even higher than major cities like Vancouver or Toronto. So, I chose to live with a roommate to save money, and the reason I chose my roommate was they had a dog. I’ve always loved dogs but that first dog Jake that I lived with – a half retriever half Australian Shepeherd who I often took on walks even in -26 degrees weather solidified my desire for my own dog.
 
But it wasn’t as simple as wanting a dog. I needed to have certain things in place – like a home that would let you have a dog!
 
I returned to BC in 2018 and for years I could only find places to live that did NOT allow pets.
 
Then, last year, I decided I wanted to move slightly south from where I was living on Vancouver Island, and my one stipulation was I would ONLY go through the hassle of moving if I found a place that would let me have a dog. I was pretty relentless in my search. It’s a tight market on Vancouver Island, and after a place fell through that I thought was mine, I felt into my disappointment and then kept my search going. I basically drove down to the new town every weekend searching for a place. Then, finally, I found one that allowed dogs and where I got the call that my application was approved. I signed the agreement and was set to move!
 
I originally thought I would need some time to settle in to my new town and surroundings before getting my dream dog. I figured by Fall or Winter (it was a summer move) I’d be ready.
 
Instead, within a few weeks of moving I found myself searching for dogs.I searched via multiple avenues and via  multiple lanes of counsel.
 
I looked at several rescue organizations, drove down to my local SPCA, went to visit some breeders nearby and looked at ads ok Kijiji.
 
One ad struck me – a mistake litter. A rough collie escaped and met up with a lab, and the rest was history. I spoke with the owner and had a good feeling about her especially after meeting with several breeders nearby where my instinct just didn’t have a good feeling.
 
My dream dog was a collie lab or collie retriever mix Although I was thinking more about Border Collies and Australian Shepherds, when I saw the Rough Collie lab mix there was one specific pup that really caught my eye. The owner said he was mine if I wanted it.
 
This pup was all the way up North of Kamloops in a town called Barrier that I’d never heard of. A friend said to me that if I really wanted the dog he’d go pick it up for me, as driving that long distance felt outside of my capacity.
 
I decided to say YES to the dog even though I did not have an opportunity to meet him first.

Then deeper serendipity unfolded:

Somebody I had dog-sat for before who I deeply respected because of how wonderful his dog was; I felt he has done an incredible job at training his dog. So I sent him a message asking for advice. He was generous in his counsel and then asked me, "When do you get your pup?" I replied, "Well, I am still trying to figure it out," and explained how the pup was up north of Kamloops.
 
Then he told me that he was heading that way and offered to pick the pup up for me! The timing and offer was unreal.

These are the magical moments I call total synchronicity/serendipity.

These are the moments I am so grateful for that are the unexpected magic that help us in our manifestations.
 
And then, on July 11th I  got my puppy, who I named Magic :) 
 
He’s now just over 8 months and I have been in constant training as I trained him. I’ve taken classes, read books, watched YouTube videos and received counsel from experienced dog owners.
 
Having my own puppy is so different than living or caring for another’s pup. The canine bond is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced (It’s amazing!). I’ve also been met with challenges I never knew I would have to figure out. However, with each challenge, I experiment with several techniques and have always figured it out. Essentially, it is all about building the relationship and learning to communicate with another being. ….Not all that different than figuring out our fellow humans – building a relationship and discovering their communication style 😉 …Ok, it might be a bit different with a dog, but not by much!
 
That whole story was to share how sometimes our goals and wishes can take years to manifest, but if you are clear and focused on the goal, and if the goal is unwavering – it will manifest. And sometimes a dose of synchronicity will swoop in to help make things happen. 
 
Manifesting this dream was a combination of intention, action, and good fortune (synchronicity and magic) 
 
I've already learned so much - not just in dog training lessons but life lessons...Here's a quick five:

1. Energy matters.
2. Energy is powerful and can direct outcomes.
3. Relationships build with time and learning each others communication style (yes, even with a dog!)
4. Recognizing things are not personal (Especially with a dog, they are just being a dog, but in life, this is a great lesson too.)
5. Be in the moment, enjoy the simple things, and play!!
 
So back to the start of this message, now is a chance to reflect on your life and the past year:
 
Look back at your 2023:

• What are some of the things you manifested?
• What are some of the things you released?
• What are some things you have overcome?
• What things are you still struggling with but want to release/overcome?
• What things are you still hoping to achieve/manifest?

 
By taking 10-15 minutes to write out and think through this, it will help clarify how you want to direct 2024.
 
So much of life is uncertain and out of our control. However, we can still have focus and direction. We can have an aim, goal, direction, desire, and place our energetic manifestation and action in that direction. We may not know exactly how the outcome will unfold and it may not always come as fast as we want, but taking time to clarify what we want to focus on is powerful and creates the energy to shift things. 

I'm taking a bet if you look at your own life you will likely see you have already manifested so many things you've hoped for.
 
So instead of a New Year's resolution, I vote for setting intentions, focus, and direction.
 
What is your intention(s) for 2024?
What do you want to see more of in your life?
What do you want to see less of in your life?
What would be a wish come true for 2024?

Take 10-20 minutes to daydream and journal the above prompts and anything else coming up for you for your hopes for 2024.
 
Then, take a bit more time to focus in on the things your really want to make happen by prioritizing them, and see if you can map a few steps forward. 

This is the path of turning a wish in your mind to form in your life. 
 
I wish you a wonderful 2024.
 
Also – if you live or visit the Comox Valley, on Vancouver Island BC, Canada, I’m teaching a gentle yoga class on Fridays. Come check it out.
 
If you want one on one support for private coaching to clarify and take action on your goals, intentions and dreams – book a session with me, and let’s move forward together 😊
 
Love Tova

For many years I brushed New Years aside. The rebel in me didn’t want to succumb to an arbitrary date being my mandate to make a resolution. Then I changed my mind. The date may be arbitrary, but it holds meaning in our culture – even if that meaning is a new tax year ;) 

I now see a New Year on the calendar as an opportunity. It’s an opportunity to look back and look forward, while staying present on the ride.
 
Let’s break this down – my hope is that after reading this article you will be inspired by all you DID accomplish in 2022, and look forward for what some of your hopes and dreams are for 2023.

Here are 3 simple steps:
 
1.Look back to one year ago: What are the major things that happened in the first 3 months or so? Then look back at late last spring and early summer, and then the fall as you moved into winter. Write down some of the things that happened. It could be an external thing such as getting a raise, or having a baby, or being impacted by a death. Maybe it was an internal thing: working with your inner boundaries, new self-awareness, self-confidence of self-trust. Give yourself a few minutes to write out what comes to mind.
 
Sometimes this exercise helps you see the progress you did make in your inner life and outer life, especially if you felt like not much happened over the last year. And, there is always a dose of luck/magic/grace to life, some of good things that come our way isn’t always from our own clear effort, lucky breaks do happen. I was once told that “You have to be good to get lucky.”
 
2.Look Forward. There are a few ways to do this. You might want to get out a piece of paper and divide it into 12 squares with the month written in each square and write down a few things you hope for each month. Or, you might journal about a few key dreams, intentions or goals you want to work towards. Some people like to use imagery and either draw, paint, or cut out photos of things that inspire them (also known as a vision board) And for some people, it might just be sitting on your bed, or the couch and giving yourself the grace and space of thinking-time. Let your mind wander as you think about what you’d like to see unfold over the coming year. You can’t do this wrong. Do what inspires you as you think through your intentions.
 
You might leave it there. There is potency in the seed of intention.

There is also strength in defining a plan. I recommend doing monthly check-ins to check in with yourself and reassess your goals and intentions and to give yourself the space to see if there is something you want to do differently.

Remember, there is a time to do. Some call it work, grind or hustle. And there is a time to be. Some call it surrender, pausing, meditating, trusting.

Both are important. We live in a culture that tends to honour the GO and dismisses the PAUSE, but the pause is just as important. It’s often in the pause that luck/magic/grace can enter.

3.Be Present. This takes us to the final step – whatever your goals are, take the time to be present.  The practice of pausing and taking a few deep breaths to tune in to our body in this moment is one way to return to presence. There is also making the most of life right now while it is happening. Sometimes we need to stop striving and simply enjoy where we are. Presence is also part of the power of being, the space of grace, and what some might call magic or luck.
 
I wish you a very happy new year :)
 
 

Thank you for coming to this page. I have 2 things to share: 

1. A simple meditation how-to video and  2. If you keep scrolling I share 5 more tips on ways to actively destress and reduce overwhelm.

One of these is meditation. As you scroll down below you'll also see I'm sharing direct access to the mini e-book called Learn to Meditate. I hope these tools and resources are helpful for you :) 

 If you're reading this you might be looking for ways to shed some stress from your life and find some tools to help release stress once it hits.
​
After all, stress is something we all experience to varying degrees, often on a daily basis. It could be a simple stressful moment when we can't find our keys and we're already 5 minutes late to leave. It could be the stress of an unexpected flat tire, an insurmountable number of projects at work with an inbox that keeps overflowing. It could be the stress that inevitably comes with relationships or other's expectations of us. 

Whatever is causing stress in our environment, the moment that we can become aware of it is the moment we can begin to shift our state. This is important so that our stress doesn't get so out of balance that it leads to a panic attack or a full on shut down.

Learning to respond to stress is important if we want to live happier, more productive and sane lives!

We cannot turn off the chaos around us. We can make some choices about how to create an environment that supports our wellness. Even then, external circumstances will test us, and specifically our nervous system.

Stress is a broad term that has a wide range of meanings for different people. What is stressful for me can be a breeze for somebody else, and what's a walk in the park for me can wreck havoc for somebody else. This is why it is important to take some time for self-reflection to determine for ourselves—what are the indicators that let you know you're stressed?

For too many people, the first signs of stress can get bypassed as we keep plunging forward at a go-go pace.

Often we won't recognize stress until our nervous system has already peaked past it's healthy threshold and we may find ourselves acting out of character, experiencing physical symptoms such as a stomachache or headache or neck pain or where we find ourselves in a state of total collapse, also known as shut down.

In a way this is our nervous system protecting us. However it can really take a toll on our mental wellness and wellbeing.

Here are 5 simple tools to help you destress:

1. Start to become aware of the first signs of stress. For the next 3 days start a journal, or, if it's simpler use a note-function in your phone where you note down the signals and situations that cause you stress. Begin to pay attention to the signals that you're feeling stress. Hint: stress will usually show up in the body as a physiological response. Therefore, start paying attention to your body. It might be noticing when your shoulders are hunches, your forehead scrunched or your breathing being held. It might be a headache, or even a sense of wanting to hide or feeling like you'll collapse. The moment you start to notice the signs that stress has emerged write it down. In time you will notice the signs even faster.

2. Begin to take 5-10 deep breaths. You might begin a new habit by adding breathing into your morning routine. It might be a note you place on your computer to remind you to breathe (Especially in a moment where your head is beginning to spin and you're feeling overwhelmed). Although a simple tool it can be difficult to practice. I recommend that you do something that will help you remember to breathe. Whether it's placing a note on your wall, or setting an alarm on your phone. Whenever we begin a new habit, we often need supports around us to keep on track until the new habit becomes automated. (Duhigg 2012)

3. Get a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left, write out your priorities. On the right, write out how you're spending your time. You might want to keep this as an active-list where you chart it for a few days. You might notice that other people's urgencies are taking over your time, causing your priorities to take a backseat. You might find yourself procrastinating and doing other things. Since everything in life has a payoff, and if you find you are procrastinating or allowing urgencies to overtake your priorities, take some time to self-reflect and ask yourself why. See if there is a payoff in where your time goes (often unconscious until we self-reflect and become conscious). If we can become aware of what is taking our time and energy, and we recognize that some of these things are creating overwhelm, we can make choices to do less of the things that are not actually helping us move our priorities forward and shift our focus towards completing our priorities. Often unconscious self-sabotage can be riding shotgun and stopping our best intentions. In the process we can become overwhelmed and stressed out. 

4. Get outside and get moving. Getting outside and in nature, or as close to nature as possible has healing benefits. Exercise is a simple way to release stress hormones and increase feel-good neurochemicals. Therefore, if you can exercise outside - whether a walk, run, hike, paddle, bike ride or anything else - it's healthy and supportive of your whole system and once of the best ways to shake off the stress.

5. Begin or continue to meditate. Meditation has so many proven benefits. However, all science aside - it's only through your direct experience that you can determine for yourself the benefits of integrating a meditation practice into your life. Whether you begin with 5 minutes, or have a longer practice of 15-20 minutes, setting an intention to make this a daily habit will have immense benefits which include focus, an ability to calm, increased awareness that spills into daily life, enhanced productivity (a byproduct of focus and calm) increased creativity and more. I've written more about this and share 4 step-by-step meditations in this e-book which I am sharing with you free. Click here to download it.

Bonus Tip: A Dose of Humour and Laughter. Whether you watch a standup comedy video (or in real life!), some other comedy, or simply find humour in the simple things in everyday life - laughter truly is strong medicine for the spirit and a great way to relive stress :)

​
Once again, here's the link to the meditation video: youtu.be/EZczwzlF8Jo

Remember there are many ways to meditate. Whether in silence, or listening to a guided meditation - by taking the time out of your day to be present with yourself and to stop doing, and start being - our life begins to shift. Our awareness increases, helping us be more conscious, alive, and awake so that we are better equipped to notice stress when it first starts, and quickly ground ourselves and do something to actively shake off the stress and release the cortisol (stress hormones) before our whole system goes out of balance.

​I hope this was helpful and will love to hear your insights in the comments.


​References:

Duhigg, Charles, author. (2014). The power of habit : why we do what we do in life and business. New York :Random House Trade Paperbacks,

https://mydoctor.kaiserpermanente.org/mas/news/regular-exercise-benefits-both-mind-and-body-a-psychiatrist-explains-1903986​

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4061837/ 

https://www.apa.org/topics/exercise-fitness/stress


​

Happy February! I hope this month has started off well. For many of us we are still right in the depths of winter, and it's still not that far from the start of a new year - a time we often set new goals and think about what we want to create in the year ahead.

Having a goal is part of the process. Sometimes even taking time to clarify what goal we want can take some inner reflection. Once we clarify our goal, the next step is to commit to it so that we have the drive to create.

Conscious commitment is a powerful force and can drive us when times get tough.

As we walk off the edge of the start of 2022, but still in the freshness of the start of a new year my questions to you, if you are so inspired for some inner reflection & creation are:

1. What are you inspired to bring into your life?
2. What is something you are willing to commit to?
3. What will your commitment look like? (These are the boundaries around commitment, for example committing to a yoga practice for a minimum of two times a week for the next 8 weeks is an example of a clear commitment
4. What do you hope to create? (Creation can be building a desk, writing an article, starting a side business, or building a state of mind and wellness - not all creation is in physical form, some is a state of mind. Using the yoga example - the commitment might be with the goal to create space for inner relaxation and inner connection)

This is the simple version of the power of Commit & Create.

Commit & Create is also the name of the new program I am launching:

It's a personalized 4-week coaching series where one week at a time we go from clarity, to commitment, to creation to maintenance plan. To Learn More—CLICK HERE

To learn more about this program - either click here, or you can reply to this message - we can either book a quick discovery call if you have some questions and want to make sure this is the right fit, or if you're familiar with my work, we can simply launch right into Commit & Create!

And for those of you not looking for personalized support - carving out the time to reflect, clarify, commit and create - are, I hope powerful core ideas that will help launch your dream for this month (or year) into reality :)

What’s the relationship between decluttering and manifesting abundance? Well, Aristotle’s quote sums it up. Just as nature abhors a vacuum, so does our life. However, if our lives are filled with clutter there is no space for something new to enter.
 
This is why as we declutter and create space – physically, mentally and emotionally, we give space for the new to manifest.
Everything comes from space – and although throwing things away can feel scary – sometimes we are attached to things we don’t even like or use, yet think “Well one day I may need this” — It actually blocks new things from entering.
 
Here are 5 simple ways to declutter today:
 
1. Declutter your closet

There might be one item, there might be a carload of items, but if there are items in your closet that you don’t love, or use – it is time to let it go. If this feels difficult – you can place a boundary around it and tell yourself you will let go of 5 items. Every item makes a difference. Not only will this free up space physically, it frees up space energetically and you are helping somebody else out in the process. Whether you give these items to a friend, a shelter, or other organization – there are other people who can really benefit from the items you no longer love or use.
 
2. Declutter you finances
 
Have you putting off organizing or looking at your finances? Whether it’s reviewing your accounts, paying bills, getting taxes in order or if you’re a business owner taking some time to review you last quarter or make new financial goals – taking the time to consciously organize your finances is important. Not only will you feel better, energetically as you clean up, organize, and set goals, it helps your subconscious mind expand into greater financial possibilities and opportunities.  Schedule 1-2 hours to clean up, throw away, organize your paperwork, and pay off your bills. Whether you are able to pay it all off, or even a small amount – every bit helps.
 
3. Declutter your electronics/time with technology
 
This can mean deleting old files taking up space on your computer, your inbox, or apps on your phone. This can also mean taking a conscious digital detox. It might be a digital detox from a specific platform or scheduling a full day or week where you step away from technology and allow your mind the space and freedom to calm down, quiet down and expand. When our mind has space we are able to hear our intuition, and in that we are able to access new insights and creative idea.
 
4. Declutter your relationships
 
There might be someone specific who every time you hang around them you feel worse than before you interacted with them. This is also known as a toxic relationship. Sometimes, this calls for releasing the relationship completely, or minimizing contact. Whether decluttering means consciously letting go of people in your life that feel heavy or simply being more mindful with the amount of time and energy you give to individuals who weigh you down – decluttering your relationship space is vital to your mental and emotional wellness. In this – you will free up energy for new relationships to flow in and have more joy and abundance in your life.
 
5. Declutter your pantry
 
Decluttering your pantry can mean several things. It might mean looking through for expired items and tossing what’s past due. It might also mean looking through the items you don’t eat and can give away to a food bank. It can also mean consciously cleaning up what you eat. You don’t need to go on a radical cleanse to detoxify and declutter your body. You can choose to delete refined high-sugar foods and add in more nutrient-dense foods. You can do a pantry clean and make more conscious decisions of choosing more whole foods the next time you are at the grocery store. For a simple basic guide on core nutrition basics – check out my first paperback- I wrote this back in 2013 – but these evergreen principles still hold true today. Click here to get your copy.
 
Whether you choose one area of your life to declutter or 5 or more – every little thing adds up.
 
Declutter one thing today, one thing tomorrow, and feel for yourself the spaciousness and clarity that comes with it.
It’s in the space and clarity that we are able to be energized and take conscious action to manifesting the goals we truly desire.
 
If you’re looking for personal support to declutter your life and manifest your goals – schedule a personalized coaching session with me—click here

A simple 3 step process to manage any problem:

​Being alive means facing  problems. When faced with a problem we may feel so blocked and hopeless that a way out seems impossible. However, the moment we take time to clarify the problem, and imagine our desired alternative situation—then, we can begin to create a plan to move from where we are to where we want to be.
It seems really simple, yet when you’re stuck in the mud of a problem it can seem so dark that we can’t see the way clear.
This is why taking the time to sit with the problem—to metaphorically sit within the mud of the problem situation we are in, we can allow the mud to settle enough so that we can allow ourselves to visualize what our preferred situation would be.
If you’re stuck in hopelessness, it means you’re stuck in the mud and don’t believe that the mud can settle down. The first ingredient is believing that it’s inevitable that the mud will settle down. You need to believe this first to be inspired enough to sit with the problem and allow the mud to settle in your mind.
A simple technique to do this is sitting in stillness, also known as grounding or meditation. Simply set a time for 5-20 minutes and be. Focus on your breath as much as you can. Focus on your breath to help clear your mind a little. Focus on your breath to metaphorically invite the mud to settle enough so that you can create some inner space in your mind.
Once you can move from hopeless to hope, you are able to visualize and clarify what you do want.It’s best to really sit here for a while, so that your whole body, mind, and emotions ignite with excitement so that you are inspired to take action.
The power of visualization is clarifying what you want and inviting your whole system (body, mind, soul) to get onboard with just enough excitement that you feel driven to take even one step forward to your desired outcome situation.
Then, make a plan. You might find yourself writing up a clear step by step plan to walk from where you are now to where you want to be, or it might be that you simply know the next step.

The next step is the most important, because with each step forward, the next step will appear.

In Summary:
If you find yourself stuck again, or in some new mud (problem) simply go through the 3-step problem-management process:

1. Sit with the problem in order to see it clearly and clarify it.
2. In your clarity imagine what you’d like your situation to be instead, and
3. Then take any action forward.

​You might consider an action big or small, but the truth is we never really know which action will have the biggest impact on our life. Sometimes a very small choice can clear an entire problem, and other times what may feel like a big action step does not remove the entire problem.
Stay open-minded as you step forward, and recognize that every step matters.
The 3-system approach is rooted in research and a system that counsellors, coaches and advisors often walk people through.
Take some time to walk through it, and if you feel you need some guided support—as a certified life coach I can help you walk this journey.

Manifest the Way Forward—A step by step guide to deliberate creation:

Manifestation is just a word that means having a conscious and deliberate intention to actualizing a goal, vision, and life you desire.

In order to get to where you want to go you need to:
1. Know where you are
2. Know where you want to go

It sounds so simple but sometimes our lives get so busy that we don’t pause long enough to take inventory and assess:
·       How are we feeling?
·       How are we doing?
·       Where are we right now?

Taking the time to pause, feel, assess and ground into where we are is necessary to take an intentional step forward.
Only once we get quiet enough to hear and feel can we heal and clear what may be holding us back. Take the time to pause in order to become aware of what’s in our way, and recognize the steps we need to take to move forward.
Wherever you are is your personal step to navigating the way forward, even if the path forward is uncertain with major circumstances outside your control.

Step one is take a time out and deliberately sit with yourself and the questions above. 
It’s like a meditation—or a meeting with yourself. I recommend setting a timer for about 15 minutes and just letting yourself sit with these questions. You can just sit and be present with what comes up, and if that feels difficult you can journal out the thoughts and feelings as a way to clear the mental space.
Then, write out in a few sentences where you are at in the areas of your life that feel most significant to you right now. That might be your health, your finances, your relationships, your career direction, or something else. It may be one thing or a few things, give yourself time to assess and feel where you are and sit with it and be with your now reality.

Then you can pivot to your desired reality:
Take an area of your life and once again, you can set a timer for 15 minutes and reflect and journal or simply sit with what you would like to see happen in your life. For example, if you are unsatisfied in your current work situation, start to write out what would be an ideal work situation, perhaps even write out a dream job description. Start to create a clear vision of what your desire looks like.
Then, take a few breaths to help clear your mental space. Mark Divine—former Navy Seal, founder of Seal Fit, and all around inspiring human talks about “box breathing” as a way to strengthen the muscle of mental control.

Our minds are powerful and our minds are a pivotal step in the manifestation process.
The process is simple:
1.     Take 4 counts to inhale
2.     Hold your breath for 4
3.     Exhale for 4
4.     Hold for four
And Repeat. Take about 10 breaths this way and notice how you feel. Often this kind of breath work helps to stabilize the nervous system and in as little as 4 breaths your entire state can shift from scattered to calm.

Then from a calmer space you can either maintain this breath or simply shift to your natural breath and meditate. ‘Meditate’ simple means being present with your now experience and if your breath is your anchor of focus it simply means being with your breath and noticing where your mind jumps to.

Meditation is simply exercise for your mind. It’s not about “being successful by having an empty mind” Rather the success of meditation is simply in the act of choosing to immerse in it.

The mere fact that you set time aside to intentionally be with your breath as you notice the wanderings of your mind and emotions is the benefit and success of meditation. It is the way to help clear and settle the mind so that you can act from a clear and intentional place which is way more powerful than operating from a muddled busy state.

A friend recently shared with me the analogy that meditation is like allowing the mud to settle so that the water is clear and this is exactly what happens when we sit to meditate. At first there’s often a lot of mud shaking around. Yet as you sit and be still the mud can settle down to the roots and your mind clears as still water. It is in this state of stillness that we can see clearly and be inspired to our next move.

Then comes the next step: Visualization:
Take 5 or 10 minutes to visualize an aspect of your life that you were working on in one of the previous steps and visualize what you desire. This alone raises your vibration—it raises your energy and your joy. When this happens, there is a mix of life’s magic and our own inner inspiration to know the next step to take.
Once we take the time to visualize we can start to see the next steps forward and this is where mini goal come into play.

Some of our dreams are huge and require several major steps to set the foundation forward. Other goals are smaller but can still be broken down to small daily steps to turn our desire into reality.
Yes, there will always be uncertainty along the way—if 2020 has taught us something this is one major lesson for sure. And despite the truth of life’s uncertainty we are still powerful manifesters of our life.

A quick 4-step recap:
1.     Breathe to settle the mind
2.     Meditate to clear the mind
3.     Visualize your desire
4.     Take simple small daily steps to your desire—sometimes the first step is writing up the next four steps you think you need to take and start with the first one.

As we walk our way forward, remember to keep going for your dreams—life is full of uncertainty and often this includes the most incredible things too. There may be a lot we do not have control on, but our minds are powerful and strong manifesting tools. We can deliberately change our mind, which shifts our emotions, which strengthens our vitality, our energy and joy and gives us the power to take concrete steps forward to living a happier more vital life.

Want support to manifest your dreams? Contact me for personal life coaching

Jayne sat across from me telling me clearly her side of the story “I’m tired of working at the bank. It’s not just that my boss is aggressive and most of my coworkers pretty catty. Frankly, I could handle that if I loved the job, but I simply don’t.” She then trails off her sentence with “I don’t know….”

Can you relate? —Speaking so clearly, just to be followed by confusion and self-doubt...

You may have seen this in yourself, friends, family, colleagues or clients. Speaking with certainty, and then confusion comes in—solidified with the words “I don’t know”
As if maybe you have it all wrong. As if everything you think, know, and feel might be off. But deep down it’s not off.

You are certain yet fear plugs in with the words “I don’t know.”

If you’ve ever caught yourself doing this you’re likely taking a breath of acknowledgement. or wincing in the truth of what you may be scared to admit to yourself.

Because our certainty can scare us.
Our certainty demands for change.

I mean it would be ludicrous to go against certainty. Yet we do it all the time because at the core—we’re afraid to trust ourselves. As explained by Karla McLaren, Author of The Language of Emotions: Confusion acts as the mask of fear, where fear is our intuition speaking to us.

Trusting our intuition—our inner sense of certainty, is scary. Especially when other people, money, and sense of security are at stake. I mean we can’t take out a measuring stick and measure our inner certainty—it’s no wonder confusion is a frequent visitor.

When confusion comes to visit—it’s a sure sign your intuition is being masked. Essentially confusion asks that we shut out the noise and go deep inside – deep into stillness and hear our inner voice. It might scare you, but you’ll be clear.

It’s scary to do this because when we are honest with ourselves and if we don’t make the change being asked of ourselves—it means we are betraying ourselves.

It’s easier to stay in a defective situation and simply blame everyone else around us. Going back to Jayne’s story, she could have blamed her lack of happiness on her boss and colleagues, and it would have made perfect sense. But she knew deep down what the real issue was.

When you know the real issue then you’re faced with the hefty task of self-responsibility and conscious choice.
Self-responsibility is a choice, and, it’s the only empowering choice there is. The alternative is blame, and that’s a pretty toxic place to be.

So how do you get from self-doubt and confusion to owning your clarity and then taking responsibility to make a choice that will turn your life around?

Here’s a 5-step game plan to move through the process:

1. Begin to notice how you talk about things. Notice when you use the words “I don’t know” especially at the end of saying something that was pretty clear and full of certainty. Also, pay attention to other ways you doubt yourself. It could come out as words such as “But I shouldn’t feel that way” or  “Well maybe I’m overreacting” or  “Maybe I’m just taking this all wrong/too hard” Any of those kinds of sentences at the end of saying something very clear is a sign that you are in doubt of yourself despite the truth you carry. Awareness is the fist step.
2. Clarify what you’re certain about. You might need to journal it down or speak it out loud into a recorder, to a friend, or coach/counsellor. Get really clear and repeat to yourself what you know. Allow your certainty to land. Allow your certainty to be felt in your being. In your body. Breathe with it. Let it be as long as you need. Your certainty isn’t going anywhere. Give yourself time to acknowledge it fully.
3. Now it’s time to practice self-responsibility: This means acknowledging what you’re clear about and recognizing that you are in a place of choice: You can choose to do nothing or blame something, or you can choose to be responsible for your life and be willing to make changes. If you choose self-responsibility – move on to step 4…
4. Ask yourself what needs to change and what step you’d like to take. In order to come up with a plan you might need a pen and paper to write out what needs to change to untangle your thoughts, or this is where speaking with a coach or counsellor can help you clarify what needs to change and what steps you need to take. This is a brainstorming stage right before you take action.
5. It’s time for action. Some actions can seem pretty massive like quitting your job, ending a relationship, or moving. Other changes can be more of a gentle first step, such as looking for other jobs, or checking out other locations you’re thinking of moving to. Trust that whichever action you take will start to unlock things and help you take the next right steps to keep moving forward in a way that aligns with your certainty and inner knowing of the choice you want to make.

The action stage may take awhile, and may require going through the process again of acknowledging what you know and what steps you need to take to keep moving forward.

Awareness, self responsibility, daring to look at what needs to change and acknowledging what actions you can take is a huge step.
It is the most important process in living a more empowered life – where you operate from your power instead of feeling like a victim.

It’s true that life can be unfair. There are times when we are a victim to something horrendous, and there is a time to allow the victim to have its space to mourn the losses, the situation, and fully feel the pain of being a victim.

Then, there comes a point where you will recognize it’s time. It’s time to either make a change or stay a victim. It’s time to own your life and pick yourself up and make the changes you can make, or stay where you are.
My hope is we all come to that point and choose to make the empowered choice which is rooted in the concept of self-responsibility, owning our truth, and taking courageous action.
Sometimes we can do this on our own, and sometimes we need the support of a friend, family member, or professional Coach or Counsellor. Sometimes we need a team of people to support us in moving forward. Invest in yourself by giving yourself what you need to live the way you know you can be living.
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For personal support from Tova – a Certified Life Skills Counsellor and Certified Life Coach--Click here to contact me