Writer, Advisor + Consultant

Are you really attracting everything into your life?


In the self-help community it’s popular thought that everything in our life is a product of what we’re attracting.

In other words: every interaction and every person is a mirror of ourselves.

There’s great wisdom here and being open to this concept has its merits. But like anything in life – at its extreme this thought pattern could be detrimental.


Every self-help principle is like medicine: and medicine needs to be the right medicine: taken in the right dose, the right frequency and the right time.

Let’s take Mary* – she met a guy that started off with sparks and synergy. Yet within a month he was delaying his affection and responsiveness.

Is this Mary attracting this into her life?

On one hand by asking the question “Is this me, am I attracting this behavior into my life?” it helps you determine what lessons and growth you can receive from the situation.

On her analysis she recognized that she did indeed have a pattern of giving herself away to the detriment of herself. She put everything else on the backburner for a guy and in the end she felt burned. She recognized how she attracted this same relationship so that she could learn about boundaries and find balance within herself.

This is an example when taking a dose of the medicine of the principle of attraction helped Mary understand herself, her patterns and her growth.


Now–let’s look at Jake*. Jake applied for a job and after a successful interview he was told they’d get back to him by the end of the week. When the week was over and he still hadn’t heard back from them he took a dose of the medicine of attraction, and started asking himself “How did I attract this in my life?”

As he sat with this thought in the stillness of a clear mind–his reasonable mind quipped in “This isn’t about you”

The reasonable thought from a still mind, is also known as our intuition – our gut knowingness.

Taking the time for stillness will help you gain clarity and determine if the situation you’re confronted with is something you’ve attracted to learn a lesson and grow, or….

Sometimes the situations presented in our life are not about us. Sometimes it’s the other person. Sometimes, not everything is a mirror. 

It’s healthy to look at the medicine of life as a mirror and meditate on whether the situation you’re dealing with is you attracting the circumstance into you life.

You can always take a taste of the medicine and ask yourself this simple question: “Have I attracted this?” Then, sit in stillness and allow your gut to guide you to the answer.

It’s just as important to recognize that sometimes – it’s not your shit. And in that case–your only job is to practice surrender, release, and keep doing the next best thing. Keep taking right action in your life.

Even when it comes to the example with Mary: after she took the medicine, and reflected upon her lesson and opportunity for growth, it’s time to move onwards and do the next best thing.

Here’s a 3-step Action Plan to help you deal with the question “How did I attract this situation into my life?”

  1. When you find yourself frustrated or saddened by a situation in your life, take a small dose of The Medicine of Mirrors and ask yourself “Is this my shit – Have I attracted this into my life?”
  2. Deal with the percentage that IS yours. Recognize it, name it aloud or write it down. If there’s a behavior you want to change to make your life better then set that as a goal by setting the intention to release a pattern that’s been hurting you.
  3. Recognize it’s NOT always you. Sometimes it’s just the other person. It’s not all on you. Once you’ve dealt with the percentage that is you – let the rest go, by inviting surrender and grace and asking yourself – what’s the next best step to bring your life into more wholeness?


The Next Best Thing will present itself one step at a time. I know it’s hard to surrender to this, but it’s the wisdom that permeates: One day at a time, one moment at a time, one breath at a time.

Like the breath: take an inhale: take action that inspires, and then exhale: release and let go. Pause the breath as you choose to invite complete clarity, and then continue one breath a time.

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