“I have no energy” she told me.
“Well did you go to the doctor?” I asked
“The doctor said I’m fine”
“Did she check your thyroid?” I asked
“Your iron? Your B-12? Your Blood glucose?”
….I was running out of questions.
“Yes. I asked and received every test imaginable, but there’s nothing wrong with me. There’s nothing wrong with me…so why do I feel so bad?” She asked
“Well…..There’s another place to look” I replied… This is what I shared:
That other place to look is your emotional anatomy. That’s right. We’re more than our physical cells. We’re also our emotional cells. And when we give all our emotional energy away we end up empty.
When everything seems fine on the surface, you need to dig deeper to discover the way to feeling better.
Caroline Myss – a pioneer in the field of energetic anatomy explains it wonderfully:
[Paraphrased] You need to think of yourself as an energetic banker. Anything you put energy into must give you a return on your investment. Otherwise, your energy will get depleted and it will withdraw from your cells leaving you physically weak and tired.
How do you know if your energy is balanced or depleted?
Take a moment to do the following exercise:
Think about everything you’ve poured your energy into over the last 9 months. Take out a piece of paper and jot down at least one core place you energy went each month.
Maybe you were planning a wedding, a birth, sitting by the bedside of a loved one, mourning a loss, dealing with a family feud, or involved in a big life change?
Maybe you took on a new hobby, a course of study, or found yourself on a trip of a lifetime, or letting go of old friends or moving to a new country.
Write out at least one thing per month where you focused your energy. Then beside it write out what did you receive in return?
Where my energy went: Helped a friend move
What I received: A mountain of gratitude and a surprise thank you dinner
Result: Even though it took time and physical energy I felt great after.
Where my energy went: Helped a friend move
What I received: Nothing. She actually got on my nerves and complained the whole time.
Result: It wasn’t just the time dedicated and the physical exertion. It was the emotional toll that drained my energy
Do you see the difference in those examples?
Sometimes we give to things and receive a return. A return could be a feeling or something more tangible – but we leave better off than we started.
It’s important to recognize that not all giving drains us. But it’s important to recognize when it does. Sometimes the mere act of giving fills us. But other times it drains us. This is what you need to be aware of.
Start to notice if your giving and receiving are in balance or out of balance.
Often times when we feel depleted, tapped out, burnt out, it’s because we’ve lost our inner balance of giving and receiving. We kept giving ourselves away to the detriment of ourselves.
Whether we gave ourselves away to another person or in worry and anxiety – if our energy is going somewhere that is not giving us a return–we’ll find ourselves bankrupt.
When we run on bankruptcy we start to run into problems. It usually begins with feeling low energy, sad, or unable to enjoy things. Then we might find ourselves heading to the doctor and discovering we’re fine by all medical standards but deep inside we know we’re not fine.
Sometimes we get so depleted–our body does give out on us and we may find ourselves truly sick.
These are all wake up calls to restore our vital energy.
Here are 3 steps:
- Do the above assignment where you write out the ways you gave your energy and becoming aware where you received a return and where you found yourself depleted.
- Take an action to correct the loss of energy.
Let’s say you discovered that your co-worker who’d come by your desk much too frequently was the source of your drained energy. Now that you’re aware of the source of depletion it’s time to take action and reinforce your boundaries.
This means speaking up and letting him know that you don’t have time to talk and need to focus on your work. Then get back to work.
Boundaries keep us healthy and ensure we don’t betray ourselves in the process of trying to care for another. (Read this article on 8 steps to strengthen your boundaries)
- Refill yourself. It’s not enough to correct the loss. Recognize you’re running a loss and that means you need to consciously re-fill. We all re-fill ourselves in different ways. For some of us it’s letting ourselves sleep-in on the weekend, or treating yourself to something you normally say “I couldn’t’ get that” or engaging in a specialty class or retreat for a deeper recharge. When you’ve run down to empty it’s not enough to correct the loss. Make sure you take the extra step to refill.
Continue this 3-step process. At least once a month reevaluate your energy so that you don’t end up in a bad case of burnout or getting sick.
Energy is created physically (for example, through the food we eat) but also emotionally – and it’s important to realize that we can get physically depleted if we’re emotionally depleted.
Restore yourself today so that you have the energy to pursue your dreams, entrepreneurial endeavours, and enjoy the life you’re creating.
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