Writer, Facilitator + Consultant

How to Let Go of Fear:

“Any choice made from fear is a violation of the energy of faith” –Caroline Myss

Feeling the brush of fear course through your body when you’re walking in a poorly lit sketchy neighbourhood is a gift of protection.

But most fears do not protect us. They stop us from living a joy-filled abundant life that lies beyond the shackles of our fears.

For too many of us—fear is running the show. It’s one thing to feel fear. It’s another to allow it to dictate your every move.

Imagine you’ve just completed a Yoga Teacher Training. You’ve done plenty of practice-teaching with your classmates, and it’s undeniable: you can teach. But the prospect of standing up in a room of strangers and leading a class makes you feel panic. So you withdraw and conclude that you can only teach one-on-one and you even go as far as to convince yourself that you prefer it that way.

Fear has a way of manipulating the truth and making you believe a lie.

But eventually the heaviness of fear bogs you down. It’s in those moments of heaviness and darkness where the weight of fear becomes too much to bear—and you realize it’s time to break free.

The most incredible analogy of fear comes from Michael Singer. To get the full scoop you’ll have to read his book The Untethered Soul, as I’m paraphrasing and adding my own slant to his analogy. Here’s my take on what I read from him:

Imagine you’re gifted a gorgeous plot of land with all the tools and help to create the home of your dreams.

You envision your dream house, map it out, and build it.

The house is magnificent and you love it so much that you start to spend all your time in there.

You feel extremely comforted by your home and start to only feel fully relaxed and safe at home. You’ve managed to set up your work so that all your work can be done from home. You’re stocked with groceries, so there’s really no need to leave your home. Besides, there’s a meal delivery service you can call if you  need anything.

The longer you stay inside the more you forget about going outside. Over time your fears of the outside world increase and you start to draw the drapes and close the windows. You convince yourself that you don’t need the sunlight as you have a state of the art lighting system that gives you all the light you need.

As time goes on the comfort and safety of your home is all you have to hang onto and you can’t imagine another life outside of your home.

Eventually the lights in your home burn out and you’re stuck sitting in the dark. It becomes very dark and that darkness permeates to your heart. You start to feel tired all the time and slightly depressed. It’s so dark and it’s been so long, you’ve forgotten to open the windows. You’ve forgotten that there’s a world of light just outside.

One day you remember that in the basement you might have a few lightbulbs, so you make your way down there, find a few lightbulbs, and all of a sudden a tiny glimmer of joy awakens. It feels good to have light again.

As you turn on a few lights you walk through your home and find a book on your bookshelf that you completely forgot about.

In the book it talks about this magical place where light is free and shines abundantly. You faintly recall this sense of light and you start to remember those times when you used to be outside. You are afraid but at this point you’ve lived in such darkness and isolation you’re desperate for a change. You start to open the blinds, raise up the windows and even open the door. You go outside and start to cry tears of joy and release as you once again feel the light of the sun – and remember the freedom of air and natural light that is in abundance.

That’s what we do in our lives: we have a dream and a vision for our life, so we start to create it.

We get comfortable—to the point where our comforts can becomes our cages.

Our comforts become the foundation for our fears: we become fearful of anything unexpected that might trample the life of comfort we created.

Our desire for certainty becomes the bedrock of our fears—making us control every aspect of our life.

In our effort to block change we also block fresh life, abundance, miracles and joy.

According to Singer’s analogy above—the home is our minds: the thoughts and limiting beliefs we construct over time. It’s our defences, reactions, habits, and fears that start to dictate how we live, what we do and where we go. It’s becoming so cautious with life that you stop living, but convince yourself that everything is “fine.” And yet there’s a lingering sadness or sense that something’s missing yet you can’t quite peg it down. What’s missing is allowing the light to enter. For the light to enter you need to open the window—step outside your comfort zone and take one step towards anything you fear.

The saddest part of this analogy—is that some people live in such fear that the analogy isn’t even an analogy anymore. Some people physically live this way—the extreme of fear in action.

But for most of us, we don’t fully recognize the fortress of safety we’ve concocted in our mind. And all too often we forget about the things that used to give us sparks of joy because the darkness of fear running the show has been driving shotgun for far too long.

Our fear of uncertainty and discomfort makes us shut out the light and abundance of life—for it feels safer to think we’re in control then to allow the mystery and miracle of life to unfold.

But when you shut out the light you shut out true abundance.

When you allow fear to dictate your decisions you’ll even convince yourself of things that aren’t true. You’ll forget that at one point you enjoyed being outside. You’ll forget that spark for life you had, the freedom you had.

To uncage yourself and explore the limitless possibilities you need to walk up to your fears and recognize they are nothing more than thoughts. You have the power to watch a thought and let it float by. You can let a thought go.

You can observe the thoughts of fear, assess if there is real physical danger, and since 99% of the time there’s no real danger, you can choose to let the fear go and walk outside – to the light and the life of possibilities, mystery and miracles that await you.

All you need to do is take the first step and grace will step in to help you flow forward.

 

If you’ve been struggling with letting go of limiting beliefs, and tired of feeling blocked, afraid, confused, and out of touch with your intuition—check out the 6-week program Become Intuitive™: An opportunity to unshackle from the limiting beliefs and get the support you need to walk forward with more confidence and ease. Click here for details. 

5 comments… add one
  • Robert August 7, 2016,

    Hi there!

    My mother is a case of fear taking over. She’s 86 and battling a head injury from a fall and is having related, normal, cognitive issues. But when we were visiting, my wife re-taught her how to use the DVD player. When asked to practice what she was just shown, my mother said no. My wife asked why and my Mom said, “because I’m scared.”

    Of a DVD Player.

    So, we all have lessons to learn. Build in the anti-fear thought processes so that they are automatic.

    That’s what I’m doing now.

    None of us escape aging.

    Reply

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