Writer, Advisor + Consultant

The Secret to Taking Two Steps Forward and Zero Steps Back

how to take a step forward

Have you ever felt that you’ve taken one step forward and two steps back on your goals and dreams?

It could be your new diet, business, or relationship. If you’ve ever felt like your progress is being sabotaged by that step back, this article is for you.

I’ve heard it hundreds of times from clients, and yesterday on an interview I was watching. And you know, all these years when I heard that phrase it gave me the willies. I mean, it just didn’t feel right.

And, finally, after all these years I got that Aha! of why.
The secret you’ve been waiting to hear (drum roll please)

There are only steps forward.

Here is why. Every time you slip, and every time you fail, you learn, and you grow. This is in of itself a step forward.

Imagine this scenario: you’re doing so well on your new clean-eating plan, and then at your 3 pm coffee break you cave for the chocolate chip gooey cookie staring at you behind the glass case. You eat it, you love it going in…And 2 minutes later you feel awful. The words out of your mouth? “I was taking all these steps forward, and now, just another step back”

Or, imagine this scenario: you’ve been making progress in your business or at work. You’ve been landing some great deals, creating awesome products and giving superb customer service. But we all know you can’t please all the people all of the time, and you hear a negative review. Your instant thought “All that headway, and now, this brings me back down.”

Well, I have news for you. This is actually part of the steps of moving forward.

Anyone who has ever taken on a healthier path of eating has certainly had a slip. This is part of the steps of moving forward.

When we slip we can learn from the experience and what you may learn is either:

1. You can eat clean 85% of the time, enjoy a rare treat, and still feel awesome, and look great.

Or you might decide:

2. That minute of the sweet chewy cookie just wasn’t worth it—and now you have a stronger resolve to say “no” the next time.

This learning is a Huge Step Forward.

And that negative review in your work? You know you’re onto something unique and incredible when not everyone loves you. This is particularly true when you are in business for yourself. And if you allegedly messed up at work, this is a step forward in learning how to become more efficient and better at what you do. It was a step forward because you learned.

Last year I released a little E-book on Amazon’s Kindle called Learn To Meditate. It was my first e-book and I was super excited. I felt that the information was an easy-to-consume, step-by-step guide to learn to meditate, whether you were a novice or needed an extra boost to resume your meditation practice.

I got all these great reviews hearing how helpful it had been. I was beaming ear-to-ear. But then the inevitable bad review—saying my spelling and grammar needed some serious spell check.

I had the major bummer moment—feeling a bit like a loser, especially since I had eyed over this e-book 10 times. I was embarrassed and wanted to hide.

But then I knew—this is my opportunity to learn and grow.

I took the e-book off immediately, I got it re-edited, fixed up the few spelling mistakes I had missed the first 10 rounds of revision, and had it proof-read to check on my grammar and the flow of the e-book. In less than 48 hours, I had the book back up on Amazon and I learned a vital lesson. First of all, a bad review is an opportunity to learn, and secondly, getting an editor to fix up your grammar and proof read your book is super-duper important! And beyond that I learned, a bad review is not the end of the world. I survived it, and realized it’s part of the practice of putting your stuff out there.

Thank god for these lessons. It motivated me to get a proper editor for my new book Eat Think & Live Rich, which is now available in paperback on Amazon. (You can get it by clicking here).

I tell you this story to share, that the negative review was not a step back. It was a Huge Step Forward.

I am grateful for this random reviewer. What may feel like a step back in the moment, is really an opportunity to grow.

There is no such thing as a step back. Everything, positive or not, is always a step forward because everything is a practice towards growing and learning. With this attitude—the momentum is always forward.

So go on, keep moving forward in your life, because really there is only one way to go—it’s Onwards….Keep stepping….Keep going. Forward is the only way.

Love Tova

p.s have you checked out my all new book? There is a free preview on Amazon. It makes a great gift of health & happiness for you and a friend. Check it out by clicking HERE

2 comments… add one
  • Cathy October 24, 2013,

    Good Morning, Tova.

    Thanks for pointing me towards this post. It’s funny, this is the type of stuff I tell my clients…then it takes an outside voice to hear it for myself!

    Also reminds me to look back at the progress I’ve made over the months & years, how much I’ve learned and grown as a practitioner, in business, as a mother, in love relationships.

    The frustration and set-backs are merely growing pains.

    • Tova Payne October 25, 2013,

      HI Cathy, Thanks for writing, I’m happy you enjoyed the post 🙂


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